Sora Has No Life Chat Room
by Jupiter-Lightning
Summary: When Sora gets a new computer and enters a chat room, what kind of craziness will ensue? Read and find out! Joint project with Sailorstar165.
1. Prologue

Sora Has No Life Chat Room

_Prologue_

It was a lovely day on Destiny Island, as always... The birds were singing their brains out and getting shot by the locals, the heat was unbearable, and the flowers were messing with the allergies of the locals as always. Today, our beloved master was sitting in his room, boxes thrown everywhere. He had just moved into a new house (after blowing up their old one with a mere firecracker) he seemed very excited, too. He had just received his new computer from his Great Aunt Melvin, whose parents wanted her to be a boy. Sora, of course, didn't care. He set to work reading the manual, but fell asleep just as he opened the book.

When he woke up, it was almost 8! He couldn't read a manual that fast! He dialed the phone number of his best friend, Riku."Dude!" he cried. "I need help with my computer!"

"Hang on, Sora," replied his friend. "Some new guys have just moved next door. Need to TP their house."

"Um, Riku? _I_ just moved next door."

"Whoops... Well, don't look out your window. I already started painting the lawn when no one was looking."

"Riku! My parents will blame me for that!" Sora snapped.

"All right, all right! I'll come clean in the morning." Riku paused. "So, what's the problem?"

"Well..." Sora began. "I don't know how to turn it on..."

"You hit the 'On Switch, stupid."

"Oh... I knew that," Sora gave a cheesy grin as he pressed the 'On Switch', but nothing happened. "Um, Riku. Nothing is happening."

"Is it even plugged in?" Riku asked.

Sora checked around the back of the computer. "Um... Is the plug supposed to be sparking?"

"SORA! YOU BIRD BRAIN!" Riku shouted. "PULL THE PLUG OUT!"

Sora quickly obeyed and pulled it out. Everything seemed okay, now. "Um. I think you should just come over here tomorrow and help me," Sora told his friend.

Though Sora couldn't see it, Riku was rolling his eyes and telling some friends online about Sora's stupid endeavor. "All right, Sora. Will do."

Sora hung up the phone and shook his fist at the box of doom. It was acting like a Heartless! Maybe Xemnas created it...

Never mind that thought. Sora looked at his clock. Wow. So much time had passed it was no 11 o'clock. He figured he needed to go to bed, so he put his PJs on and quickly drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Sora was awoken by Riku whispering something about evil clowns into his ears. Sora jumped up to see where the clowns were. He'd always had nightmares about the evilly evil make up men. Even nightmares of himself joining their ranks!

Riku pointed to the plastic box on the desk known as the computer. "Dude, I set it up for you. You're useless at that kind of thing.

"Yeah. I'm not that computer savvy..." Sora laughed. "Well. Thanks. Now, how do I get a chatroom membership, or whatever?" he asked.

Riku rolled his eyes, turned on the computer, and typed in a website. "This is a website," he explained, slowly as if talking to a mear child. "This is the site a bunch of our friends are on." He clicked 'Download Now!'

Sora stared as the screen brought up a little box. "It's doing something!" he cried, dumbstruck. "What do we do now?"

"We wait," was the only reply. Riku clicked on the start menu, went to games, and brought up Spider Solitare.

"And what is this?" Sora asked.

"It's called a _game_," Riku replied slowly.

"And if you say you don't know what a game is, I'll kill you!" Riku hissed just as Sora was about to open his mouth.

Sora closed his mouth. He stayed quiet and watched as Riku attempted to win at the near impossible game and fail. He finally won just as the download was complete.

"It's finished!" Sora pointed out.

"Great. Now you need a screen name," Riku said. "May I suggest Computer dunce?"

Sora scowled at him, "That's not funny."

"Well, what were you thinking of?" Riku questioned.

Sora tapped his chin in thought for a minute or two and finally, he began tapping onto the keyboard. Riku blinked, "DaMaster1?"

Sora nodded and logged on. "Get on your account! I gotta see what yours looks like!"

Riku rolled his eyes and left the room.

_Welcome to YouHaveNoLifeChatRoom... Please, pick a username and password before you continue._

Sora chose his name and password.

_Now, please wait a few minutes before signing in... we need to make sure it is appropriate for useage..._

Sora stared at the screen. Nothing was happening, and then finally... A screen covered in different chatrooms appeared. Suddenly, a chatroom appeared on top that said "Click here, dumbass." by someone named "SexyandHawt".


	2. Chapter One

Sora Has No Life Chat Room

Chapter One

Sora knew that only Riku would post a chat like that and have the name "SexyandHawt". He clicked.

Suddenly, a billion of names appeared on the list in whatever strange place he clicked, "What's going on?" he asked out loud.

One message at the bottom caught his attention.

**SexyandHawt:**

_INTRODUCE YOURSELVES TO THE N00B!_

**SexyK:**

_Hey, loser! Riku told me you suck at using a computer XD_

**NobodySk8er13:**

_Well, I did at first. He'll get used to it._

_**SexyandHawt:**_

_Well, at least you knew how to turn it on, Roxas._

**NobodySk8er13:**

_Dude, you couldn't figure out how to turn it ON!_

**DaMaster1: **

_Uh... Maybe?_

**SexyandHawt: **

_You should by now Sora isn't very bright nor is he good with computers. _

**SexyK:**

_LOL! _

**NobodySk8er:**

_Tru... _

**DaMaster1: **

_You spelled true wrong_

**SexyK: **

_Sora? It's called Shorthand._

**DaMaster1:**

_What the heck is an idjit? _

**SexyandHawt: **

_Never mind... Hey it looks like someone else is signing in!_

_**ArtWitch has signed in**_

_**SpikyhairedPyro has signed in**_

_**Muffinsrules has signed in**_

**ArtWitch: **

_Hey, Roxas heart_

_**SpikyahiredPryo**_

_-Gags-_

**MuffinsRule:**

_Dude! You're supposed to be practicing your drum Solo, Axel_

**SpikyHairedPyro: **

_Demyx! Please! I'm trying to be cool, since there's a N00b about!_

**MuffinsRule:**

_Really? -scans page-_

**DaMaster1:**

_Um, what dothe linesmean?_

**SexyandHawt:**

_-slaps forehead- Those are actions, stupid_

**DaMaster1:**

_OH! I get it now -grins-_

**SexyK:**

_Wow, that was fast _

**SexyandHawt: **

_Tell me about it, so who's MuffinsRule?_

**SpikyhairedPyro:**

_It's Demyx...unfortunately..._

_**FlowerMaiden11 has Signed in**_

**SpikyhairedPyro:**

_Aww, crap._

**FlowerMaiden11:**

_That's no way to treet (sp?) a person!_

**DaMaster1:**

_(sp?)?_

**SexyK: **

_spelling_

_**MuffinsRule:** _

_Hey Aerith. Wanna go out sometime?_

**FlowerMaiden11:**

_Oh, -blush-_

_**SpikyHairedPyro: **_

_-gag-_

**MuffinsRule:**

_What?_

**NobodySk8er:**

_Uh, Demyx? That's Marluxia._

**MuffinsRule: **

_AHHHHHHH!_

_**MuffinsRule has signed off**_

**FlowerMaiden11: **

_Aw, I thought that was Xehanort! snaps fingers_

**DaMaster1:**

_That's scary and sick on so many levels._

**SexyK: **

_O.O;;;_

**SpikyHairedPyro:**

_Mar, that's BlindedMunnyStealer. He gave you the name last week, remember?_

**FlowerMaiden11: **

_Oh yeah... _

**DaMaster1:**

_Well, I'm singing off... bye. _

With a click of the mouse, he instantly signed off. Who knew what else would happen in that chatroom the next day...

_**xxxxx**_

_**Sailorstar165: Well, that's the end of this exciting chapter!**_

_**Riku: That wasn't exciting!**_

_**Sailorstar165: Quiet, Riku!**_

_**Jupiter-Lightning: PLZ R&R!**_

_**Riku: Rest and Relaxation?**_

_**Sailorstar165: You're so dense, Riku!**_

_**Riku: Quiet, you!**_

_**Sailorstar165: Later peoples!**_


	3. Chapter Two

_Sora Has No Life Chat Room_

_Chapter 2_

The next evening after dinner, Sora quickly dismissed himself to get online. Apparently, Riku said that it was a lot more fun to chat in the evening times. Little did Sora know, Riku was probably right.

As he sat down in his chair (almost falling over), he clicked the sign in button and was soon signed into the chat room.

**_DaMaster1 has signed in_**

**GrandSniper2:**

_OMG! There he is now -snickers-_

**SexyandHawt:**

_Don't you DARE say anything..._

**DaMaster1:**

_0.0 say anything about what?_

**SexyK:**

_You don't wanna know._

**Nobodysk8er:**

_Trust us._

**GrandSniper2:**

_OH fiddle pickles! He has a right to know -still snickering-_

**DaMaster1:**

_I'm assuming that this GrandSniper2 person is Xigbar?_

**SpikyHairedPyro:**

_DING DING DING! We have a winner!_

**DaMaster1:**

_And what is it that I have a right to know about exactly?_

**SexyandHawt:**

**SexyK:**

**ArtWitch:**

**Nobodysk8er:**

**SpikyHairedPyro:**

**_MuffinsRule has signed in._**

**MuffinsRule:**

_OMG! DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE RUMORS ABOUT RIKU AND SORA BEING AN ITEM!_

**SexyandHawt:**

_-groans-_

**DaMaster1:**

_WHAT!_

**SexyK:**

_They're not true, Demyx, so don't ask for autographs..._

**MuffinsRule:**

_Really? Aw darn. Oh well, at least ONE rumor in Yaoi Magazine is true._

**SpikyHairedPyro:**

_And that rumor- er, fact would be?_

**_MadScientist4 has signed in_**

**MadScientist4: **

_SQEEEEE! CHANCE GASS IS GAY YAY!_

**SexyK:**

_WHAT!_

**ArtWitch:**

_SAY IT ISN'T TRUE!_

**SexyK:**

OMG MY ONE TRUE LOVE IS GAY!

**DaMaster1:**

Hey! I thought I was your one true love!

**SexyandHawt:**

lol

**MadScientist4:**

'Tis true. NOW I MUST GO SEEK HIM OUT AND ASK HIM OUT BYEZ!

**_MadScientist4 has signed off_**

**DaMaster1:**

_Who was that anyway?_

**MuffinsRule:**

_Vexen_

**DaMaster1:**

_Figures_

**SexyK:**

_Hey, Nami, let's go and throw all of our OUT-OF-SYNCH and Chance Gass posters away NOW!_

**ArtWitch:**

_I'm with ya, sister._

**_SexyK has signed out_**

**_ArtWitch has signed out_**

**NobodySk8ter:**

_Um. IS Vexen gay?_

**SpikyHairedPyro:**

_Apparently so_

**SexyandHawt:**

_That's scary..._

**DaMaster1:**

_Ditto_

**MuffinsRule:**

_So, has anyone hear heard of that new song by Dustin Cinderfake?_

**SexyandHawt:**

_THAT SONG IS AWESOME! I LOVE SEXYLACK!_

**DaMaster1:**

_-snickers- if that's your new theme song. I'm fixing to die of laughter._

**SexyandHawt:**

_Why? It's a good song_

**GrandSniper2:**

_One: Dustin is probably gay just like Chance Gass (they were once in the same group) because he sounds like a woman in that song_

_Two: It's talking about how he lacks sexiness, which is clearly true because Vexen despsises him._

**SexyandHawt:**

_It's talking about how he lacks sexiness? No way_

**DaMaster1:**

_LOL! Do you even know what the lyrics say?_

**SexyandHawt:**

**NobodySk8er:**

_I don't think I want to know who these people are._

**SpikyHairedPyro:**

_Be glad your roomate's not obsessed._

**DaMaster1:**

_Whose that?_

**SpikyHairedPyro:**

_... Marluxia._

**SexyandHawt:**

_ROTFLMFAS_

**SpikyHairedPyro:**

_At least I understand what my music is saying!_

**DaMaster1:**

_Translation?_

**MuffinsRule:**

_His favorite saying, "Rolling on the floor, Laughing my (Censored) (censored) off"_

**Grandsniper2:**

_Before you even ask, moron, Demyx strongly believes in editting things. It's a shock translators haven't hired him to censor the dubs of Anime._

**_KiCkAsSkInG has signed in_**

**DaMaster1:**

_Your Majesty! _

**SexyandHawt:**

_-snickers-_

**KiCkAsSkInG:**

_Has anyone seen Minnie? I can't seem to find her..._

**KingofDarkness74 has signed in**

**DaMaster1:**

_There's only 1 person that can be! XEHANORT!_

**KingofDarkness74:**

_Who's Xehanort? -looks-_

**SexyandHawt:**

_Sora? That's Donald._

**NoBrainz has signed in**

**Nobodysk8er:**

_I see Disney characters..._

**NoBrainz:**

_Gawrsh, uh, yer majesty? I saw Minnie out with this Pete guy. They just passed by my window_

**KiCkAsSkInG:**

_WHAT! SOMEONE'S GONNA GET IT NOW!_

**_KiCkAsSkInG has signed off_**

**DaMaster1:**

_Uh, Donald? Why do you have that username?_

**KingofDarkness74:**

_Aw, phooey. My nephews must have been messing with it._

**NoBrainz:**

_Really? Well, I was standing right behind you when you made that name..._

**KingofDarkness74:**

_Goofy, what did we go over when I we talked about what was all right to disclose on the internet?_

**NoBrainz:**

_Uh... Not to bring offline onto online?_

**KingofDarkness74:**

_Exactly, so let's NEVER speak of this again. nods_

**DaMaster1:**

_You just liked that username!_

**SexyandHawt:**

_You just noticed that?_

**_SexyK has signed in_**

**SexyK:**

_I just got a Restricted call saying that they would be online in a few minutes. You know who that is..._

**SpikyHairedPryo:**

_Joy..._

**NoBrainz:**

_Uh-oh_

**SexyandHawt:**

_Fun..._

**NobodySk8er:**

_Here we go again_

**DaMaster1:**

_**SeaSaltIceCream has signed in**_

**xxx**

**Jupiter: And there's chapter 2!  
Sailorstar:** **Yepperz Pepperz! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! anywho, go to my webbie and go to my YouTube and view my videos!  
Riku: Blatent advertising, as always.**

**PLZ R&R!**


	4. Chapter Three

Sora Has No Life Chat Room

Chapter 3

* * *

**SeaSaltIceCream:** Hello, all! I have some great news today!

**NobodySk8er13:** Oh, joy. What is it, DiZ?

**DaMaster1** Wait a second… I thought DiZ died.

**SpikyHairedPyro** No, he just disappeared and reappeared on Candy Mountain. Everyone knew that.

**DaMaster1** Well, I didn't…

**SexyK** -rolls eyes- You're so clueless, Sora.

**SeaSaltIceCream** This life insurance saved me from paying millions when my machine exploded!

**NobodySk8er13** Do you honestly think that we care about some freaking life insurance, DiZ? I mean, come on… We're VIDEO GAME characters we always come back for the sake of the fans.

**NoBrainz** I think he was talking about life insurance for the machine Roxas.

_**aShootinandaStabbin has signed in**_

**aShootinandaStabbin:** How is everyone doing?

_**L337Ninja has signed in**_

**L337Ninja:** Hey! Axel! You owe me a ton of Munny!

**SpikyHairedPyro:** Uh, no I don't.

**L337Ninja:** Yes you do! I stole Larxene's Pokemon collection for you to torch, and I haven't seen a Munny of what you promised me! If I don't get my cash, I'll do something terrible to you!

**SpikyHairedPyro:** Don't talk about that here.

**SeaSaltIceCream:** Ooo! Axel, you should invest in—

**GrandSniper2:** Shut up, you idjit spammer!

**DaMaster1** I'm assuming that the ninja is Yuffie?

**L337Ninja** That is correct. Wait a sec… who are you?

**SexyK** It's Sora, Yuf.

**L337Ninja** I thought it was you! Welcome to the club!

**aShootinandaStabbin** I was wondering when you would finally get a computer of your own.

**L337Ninja** Oooh.. That's Squall in case you were wondering.

**aShootinandaStabbin** It's Leon… How many times do I have to tell you!

_**SpikyHairedPyro**__**has signed out.**_

**L337Ninja** WTF? GET BACK HERE AXEL!

**GrandSniper2** He told me he was moving to a place called Peru so that you wouldn't find him, but he told me not to tell you.

**SexyK: **Then what did you just tell her?

**GrandSniper2:** Whoops...

**SexyandHot:** Hey guys. Was AFC for a while. What's going on?

**aShootinandaStabbin:** Well, Axel's apparently moving to Peru.

**KingofDarkness74:** Anyone got Larxene's number? I wanna tell her what happened to her Pokemon figures.

**Nobodysk8er13:** Axel didn't torch all of them, though.

**L337Ninja:** He didn't?

**Nobodysk8er13:** No, he just wanted the Fire Pokemon figurines. He just wanted to have a large scale war between the fire types and the millions of Pikachu in the collection (Pikachu had back up from the other electrics) with real fire.

**NoBrainz: **Who won, ahyuk?

**Nobodysk8er13:** You really are an idjit. The electrics all MELTED!!!!!

_**PikachuFanGirl has signed in**_

**PikachuFanGirl**: All right, who the hell torched my Pikachu collection?

**SeaSaltIceCream** Have your favorite figurines been torched?

**PikachuFanGirl** Say anything else and you're going to be dead for real this time!

**KingofDarkness74** Should we tell her?

**PikuachuFanGirl** Tell me what? You all know something, don't you?

**L337Ninja** Depends. How much munny you got?

**PikachuFanGirl** I'm not giving you any munny. Now tell me who destroyed my poor little Pikachus!!!

**DaMaster1** Apparently, Axel did.

**PikuachuFanGirl** I thought so. Where is he?!

**SexyK** He moved to Peru, but you didn't hear it from us.

**PikachuFanGirl** He will pay!

**PikachuFanGirl** has signed out.

**SeaSaltIceCream:** Oh, I was going to tell her the perfect place to replace—

**aShootinandaStabbin:** ENOUGH WITH YOUR ADS!!!!!!!

**GrandSniper2:** Well, I better stop Larxene before she does anything stupid.

_**GrandSniper2 has signed out**_

_**7Lance has signed in**_

**7Lance:** -reads over posts- Oh dear, Axel's not going to survive much longer.

**SexyK:** -sarcastic- What gave you that idea?

_**PokerFace has signed in**_

**PokerFace:** I just saw Larxene running past my window chasing down Axel. Did he forget their date again?

**DaMaster1:** Holy Schiznit! They're going out?!

**SexyandHawt** That's news to us.

**L337Ninja** We should spy on them!

_**L337Ninja has signed out.**_

**MuffinsRule** Sorry for being away for so long. I had to polish my sitar.

**SeaSaltIceCream** Need to polish your sitar? Why not try the new polishing polish!

**MuffinsRule** Oh, I've tried it already. It sucks.

**PokerFace** Ansem the Wise, do us a favor and go jump off a cliff would ya?

**SeaSaltIceCream** I can't do that! I'm being paid millions for spamming!

**PokerFace** I bet you 5,000 Munny he'll find some stupid thing to sell to me, Demyx.

**MuffinsRule** That's not fair! We already know he's going to!

**SeaSaltIceCream** You know, there's a new card shuffler—

**DaMaster1** Look, I gotta go. Later!

_**DaMaster1 has signed out.**_

**

* * *

**

**Jupiter: I am soooooooooooooooo sorry that this took so long! But it's summer now! That means more free time to work on fics! W00tness. **

**Sailorstar: Konnichiwa! How are you guys! Nice to see you all reading us still (or reading the fic and ignoring the A/N). Oh well, hope you liked it! Get the dot hack games! They're great!**

**PLEASE R&R!**


	5. Chapter Four

Sora Has No Life Chatroom

Chapter Four

It had been several months since Sora dared sign onto a chatroom thanks to Ansem the Wise's constant spamming as well as all of the other chaos going on. Also, he had been grounded for quite awhile for sitting at the computer all day instead of doing chores and homework. He hadn't realized how messy his room had been until he started cleaning it all up.

However, he was now allowed back onto the computer. Riku had assured him that a lot of the craziness had dissipated over the months and that there were also some awesome new members who had joined the group and many of the regulars had actually changed their usernames. More importantly, Ansem the Wise had apparently gotten banned or something, which was a good thing. Sora hoped that this was true.

The teen sat down in his chair and flexed it fingers before typing on the keyboard. He was rather disappointed to see that there was only one person online. He shrugged. At least it was someone to talk to.

_DaMaster1 has signed in_

_**PokerFace:**_ Soraaa! It's been awhile. I heard you got grounded.

**DaMaster1:** Obviously you haven't changed your username like some of the others.

**PokerFace:** Nah… I was thinking about it… Until…

**DaMaster1:** Until?

**PokerFace:** This amazing song came out!

**DaMaster1: **Oh! Your username is the same as that song by Lady CawCaw?

**PokerFace:** Yes! It is such a brilliant song. I can't get it out of my head. Also, it is my lucky song!

**DaMaster1:** Interesting. How come?

**PokerFace:** I've actually been winning at poker since this song came out! I have it on repeat while playing the game… by the way, you've just lost the game

**DaMaster1:** … Riku says that to me all the time I don't get it…

**PokerFace:** I don't, either. It's just fun to randomly say to piss people off. Demyx does this thing called RickRolling.

**DaMaster1:** …

**PokerFace:** It'll happen to you on here eventually. You've been warned.

**DaMaster1:** Thanks for the warning. Is it something dangerous?

**PokerFace:** Dangerously funny.

_ImmaMermaid9 has signed in_

**ImmaMermaid9: **Sora! Welcome back! It's me, Demyx. So, I found this amazing picture.

**DaMaster1:** Of?

**ImmaMermaid9:** This hot chick named Aqua.

**DaMaster1:** That's nice. I don't really care about any other girl besides Kairi.

**ImmaMermaid9:** Sora, you do realize Kairi is offline, right?

**DaMaster1: **Well… E-Mail it to me, 'kay?

**PokerFace:** -snickers-

**ImmaMermaid9:** Done!

**DaMaster1:** Awesome brb

**PokerFace: **-snickers-

**ImmaMermaid9:** Never gonna give you up….

**DaMaster1:** WTF?

**PokerFace: **Oh, Riku would have loved this.

**DaMaster1:** I don't get it…

**PokerFace:** That is the art of RickRolling, my friend.

**ImmaMermaid9:** Tehee… Now I have RickRolled everyone on here! Now it's time to find a new prank.

**PokerFace:** Great…

_ImmaMermaid9 has signed out_

**DaMaster1:** Man, I've missed a lot…

**PokerFace:** Sora, you have no idea…

* * *

**Jupiter-Lightning**: Wow. It has been four freaking years since this has been updated. I could list every single excuse in the book. The biggest excuse is _life. _My co-writer, **SailorStar165,** has no idea that I've updated this... That is, until I send her the link to this. Consider this a gift, dear. XP Also, special thanks to **lunfrak **for pretty much convincing me to continue this. With that being said, I'm not sure how regularly this will be update considering I'm supposed to be in fanfiction writing retirement. I apologize to those who have read and reviewed this over the years. I hope some of your are still out there... To new fans, I hope you enjoy this!


End file.
